6 signs of toxic relationships
I have spent my 22 years living around different types of people and being in several relationships. During this time spam, I was inadequate to identify toxic relationships and toxic people in my life from whom I should cut off to live a much easy and peaceful life.
But then I glimpsed over some words that changed my perspective towards my relationships, those words were by;
Gillian Needleman, a clinical psychologist, once said; “Why? It can take a while to realize that a particular friendship or relationship is unhealthy,” she further said, “You may have a friend or family member who seems like they are always in crisis,” she says. “You give, give, give and help as much as you can, because that might be in your nature. You can get exhausted, always trying to save or rescue the other person. You neglect your own emotional needs because the focus is always on them.”
Firstly, we need to understand what a toxic relationship is.
What is a Toxic Relationship?
Since we are born, we are engaged in relationships like family relations or friendships. Each relationship has a different impact on our life.
We need relationships to cope up with loneliness, to have somebody’s back when we need them; we need a shoulder to lean on. Relationships provide us social and emotional support, when we have healthy relationships we live a healthy and satisfactory life.
There are various types of relationships in our life;
· Healthy and strong relationships are maintained easily.
· Some relationships are a little bit difficult; they require more effort to work out. Because we value these relations we give our best to keep them going.
· Then there are toxic relationships; those relationships which are harmful to us need to be corrected on time.
Being in a toxic relationship can make you anxious and stressed, you will start doubting yourself, it can make you trust hardly on other people, negative actions in their life can harm you as well. You will be left drained emotionally and physically.
Of course, a toxic connection can exist not just between two people in a committed partnership, but also between friends or parents and their adult children. Power is practiced in these situations, as much as in a devoted relationship by instilling shame in the “victim.”
Here are some signs that might be experienced in toxic relationships;
· Everything is about them
Toxic person’s priority is “themselves”, all they do is care about themselves, despite their partner. All do they care about is their choices, likes, and dislikes, the choice and opinions of their co-partner do not matter to them. They expect and want whatever makes them happy, do not matter if their partner is ready for such action or commitment. They like to decide without consulting or asking from their mate, does not matter whether the decision is long-term or short-term.
· They are jealous or controlling
A toxic person tends to have controlling behavior. They want to control every single endeavor of their partner. Controlling the behavior of your mate is not only toxic but derogatory as well. A toxic mate can be envious of other individuals encircling you. They want to make things work out the way they want in a relationship. They are often suspicious as well. At a stage, they make you feel like they do not trust that is why there are higher chances that it can be a fact.
· They don’t respect your boundaries
At the start, all seem pleasant and adequate to being prioritized and prioritizing somebody. Giving and getting all of the attention from one person. But as time passes, things start to make sense that we can deny the reality that we have to focus on other things and individuals in our life.
As time passes, a toxic person starts to erupt possessiveness, which can induce insufficiency of trust. A toxic is not ready to give personal space to his/her partner neither he/she wants to perpetuate privacy between them.
· They isolate you (All take, no give)
It may be an indicator of a toxic relationship if it constantly concentrates on what keeps your mate pleasant while abandoning your concerns.
“Being considerate of your partner is one thing, but if you find yourself saying no to yourself frequently to say yes to them, you might want to consider setting some boundaries” — Lewis Patrick
Toxic mates will always behest initiative from your side, hence after they do not bother to appreciate your efforts. Every time you will be the one who has to make efforts to carry on the relationship.
· They will always over react
You’re coping with an over reactor/deflector if you’ve ever attempted to communicate to a considerable other that you’re upset, hurt, or furious about anything they did and then find yourself taking charge of their displeasure, pain, or fury. You find yourself consoling them rather than seeking consolation for yourself. The deflector is perplexed because the facts you are presenting to them notice contradict their self-perception. It is so unsettling that they unwittingly persuade you that you are the one having “work to do.” Perhaps you are hyper-emotional.
· You will feel trapped and drained
Having time with someone significant in your life should energize you rather than exhaust you. After spending time with a toxic person, you may feel emotionally tired because you experience that you’re the one who is continuously sacrificing and making an effort without receiving something in return.
